5 Lessons From Eddie Murphy’s Daddy Day Care That Fathers Can And Should Implement Immediately

By Rodney Kellum

It’s amazing how young children can find an older movie that you may have forgotten about, decide they like it, and play it over and over and over again.

My five year old son has done just that with Eddie Murphy’s Daddy Day Care. What’s really interesting is that when I first saw this movie I watched it through the eyes of a man without children. OH BUT NOT THIS TIME.

Now every time I watch this movie with my son, which is at least twice a week as of the time I am writing this. I pick up on the underlying messages of the movie which really motivate me as a Father and Entrepreneur (A.K.A. Fatherpreneur).

So I have taken the time to explain The 5 Lessons From Eddy Murphy’s Daddy Day Care That Fathers Can And Should Implement Immediately.

The Falsehood Of Corporate Security

Eddie Murphy’s character in this movie had a very important and time consuming career in product development. He routinely answered the call of his cell phone, and the never ending chimes of e-mail. Most men who have worked in the corporate world can relate to this.

But then IT happens (insert movie horror music). He and his very good buddy get laid off in a way that shocks Charlie (Eddie’s character) and his business partner Phil. Have any of you ever experienced this? (The writer of this post raises his hand).

Charlie has to instantly accept the reality that his employer had the power to discontinue the work that he had found his identity in. And it didn’t matter how much he emotionally invested. It didn’t matter what his financial obligations were. And it didn’t even matter that he had brought the company success in the past. So what’s next?

What Really Matters

All of Charlie’s time was no longer taken up by meetings, presentations, emails, and phone calls. So what does he do now? Well isn’t is obvious by the title? He got back to being Daddy. He got to read to his son at night, and even fell asleep in the bed with him. (And the crowd goes AWWWWW!!)

Now since this wasn’t the end of the movie, the importance of this quality time didn’t really smack him in the head just yet. But it did help him shift his focus towards home.

The Joy Of Being Present

So the Daddy’s Charlie and Phil decide to embark on the hilarious task of starting a Daddy Day Care. In which both of their children are attendees.

With a mixture of plenty of poop humor, costume play, sugar rushes, and sugar crashes, and of course NAP TIME. The Daddy Day Care takes shape. Now remember the scene I talked about earlier where Charlie read to and fell asleep his son. Well because of Charlie’s decision to start this home based business, he and his son got a whole lot more time together.

Side Bar: This is one of those points where the movie really began to talk to my own desires as a Fatherpreneur.

Charlie went from being an absentee Father due to his career, to being a present and engaged Father because of a business decision. Which leads me to the next and highly valuable point.

True Fulfillment

Since this is a family based comedy, plenty of hilarity ensues, along with the challenges of two very inexperienced men running a daycare, while competing with the big time private academy in town.

Throughout their journey they face surprise inspections, sabotage, and Charlie even faces the very difficult choice of going back to his old job.

Side Bar: To me this represents the struggle that many men go through everyday, when they leave their home and children.

But something amazing happens when he briefly decides to go back to the corporate world and quit his innovative Daddy Day Care. As he was in the board room being prompted to give a presentation by the very man that laid him off not to long ago.

IT finally smacks him in the head. The realization that the quality time he has been able to spend with his son is so priceless, that he abruptly excused himself, and quickly went to go retrieve his son from the dreaded Academy that he had been competing against. And made the BOLDstatement that Daddy Day Care was here to stay.

What You Can About Yourself From Your Children

As I watch this movie over and over again. I simultaneously watch my son. I observe what parts of the movie make him laugh, and realize I laugh at the same parts. I observe that he is drawn to this movie more than other more popular animated movies. I then realize that he already has the desire to be a Dad when he grows up, and this movie is speaking to a deep desire on the inside of him.

And guess what… So did I when I was his age. Watching my son learn and grow, highlights my own attributes that I am responsible for developing or correcting within him.

My son has such an amazingly large influence on how I go about my career, and how I have come to understand the value of time. I am so thankful that he’s been tough enough to endure my days of being an absent Father because of career choices. Yet loving enough to forget about my absence at the moments I came home. (Pauses to catch breath and not cry)

I hope that this post motivates another Father to decide that those he is most important too, deserve more of his time than anything else.

If you enjoyed this post please feel free to like, comment on, and share.

God Bless

Rodney Kellum

A.K.A. The Fatherpreneur

If you are a Father that is burned out by, or have been burned by the corporate world and want to learn how to become a successful Fatherpreneur. Visit http://www.fatherpreneurship.info and enter your best email. All future information will be sent there.

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Empower and Uplift Your Child

black-family

 

By Cherrye S. Vasquez, Ph.D.

“Your mama is black!” the little girl meant it as a slur. It was true, the other little girl’s mother is black, but she didn’t take it as a slur–because her mother also held a doctoral degree, is a published author of half-a-dozen books, journals and diaries for children, and has dedicated herself to a life helping others. Her daughter could not be shamed, as her bully had intended. This time, the victim won the day.

Do you know what to do if your child becomes a victim of bullying? Does your child feel comfortable knowing what actions to take? Does your child know how to get help?

In this culture of ever-increased work hours for parents, over-crowded classrooms for teachers, and easy physical and digital bullying for students, should you also be asking, could your child ever be the bully? And if so, how would you handle this? Don’t get caught off guard, and don’t be surprised. Never say never! Study and observe your children. Sometimes they don’t need to realize you’re watching them. Remember, you’re the parent who will also be held accountable for your child’s actions. Children will be children, but we must teach them how to play fair and the importance of treating others the very same way they’d want to be treated. It’s our job!

The mistakes our children make, whether in class or online, can follow them for the rest of their lives, so it’ll behoove us to redirect their paths now. There’s no time to wait and the sooner the better. Bullying issues can decrease in our nation’s schools when we promote diversity awareness, allowing children to gain knowledge and learn about one another’s similarities and differences.

If your child is being bullied: It is increasingly important for children to express and affirm who they are, through voice and positive action. We should help promote healthy self-identity within our children. Your child will realize his/her uniqueness and learn not only his/her self-worth, but also the self-worth of others. Using positive self-affirmations and self-fulfilling prophecy techniques and tools are a few such skills that can be utilized.

Parents, Teachers, Librarians and Counselors — If the goal is for your children to have heightened, unbreakable self-esteem and self-confidence, you’ll want to search out materials and resources to help them with these efforts.

After instilling empowerment and other tools needed to armor your child, he/she will walk away with greater conviction for maintaining deep-seated inner-strength and authority for their lives. So much so, a bully would have a difficult time intimidating them.

So go ahead: Get started today utilizing tools that will help off-set negative bullying behaviors. Together, we must end bullying.

Read my article to learn what you can do if your child becomes a victim of a bully at: http://cherryevasquez.tateauthor.com/?p=3201

For materials, resources that you can use, please see my Website: http://www.BooksThatSow.com

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Do Teenage Girls Dress Appropriately?

teen girls

By Ross McDonald

It has come to my attention that some teenage girls are so caught up in looking good, increasing their social status and attracting boys that they put their own welfare at risk.

How do I know this?

Because I work with teenagers and cannot believe the kind of dresses that theses kids wear when they go out to parties and clubs.

This sad fact really started to hit home when, a few weeks back at work, I noticed a 14 year old kid wearing something that would look much more appropriate on a Bond girl.

I have never been blessed with children of my own.

But as someone who has a teenaged niece I pray to God that she does not flaunt herself like some of the young girls that I work with.

Because sooner or later these young ladies are going to find themselves crossing paths with the less desirable members of society. Add into the equation that maybe one of these young girls has been left alone by a love struck friend whom has deserted them, and the potential for harassment and physical and sexual assault magnifies exponentially.

It also amazes me that some teenage girls wear barely any clothing during the winter. Thus it not only puts them at risk of being noticed by a sex offender; it also increases their chances of falling ill with a common cold or perhaps something much worse.

So it begs the question: What kind of parents do these children have?

Are these people too self involved to police their own offspring’s behavior?

Are they single parents that let their children get away with anything because they cannot be bothered making the effort without their significant other backing them up?

Or do these people have substance abuse issues that prevent them from being good role models?

The worst thing that anybody can do is make an assumption about someone’s parenting abilities without knowing the facts. Having never been a father myself, I am the last person to make any type of judgement.

Still, I wonder what said parent’s reaction would be if they received a phone call from the hospital telling them that their child had just been assaulted?

Would these parents still be able to look themselves in the mirror knowing that their child is suffering because of a lesson that THEY refused to teach?

I know that if I was parent there is no way in Hell that I would allow my daughters to leave the house dressed like they were strippers.

Even if they yelled and screamed at me, I would rather take their abuse then see them be abused by some pathetic individual who treats women like whores.

Plus I would point out to my children that teenage girls flaunting their bodies is actually doing nothing to improve their chances of finding Mr. Right. This is because most guys who see girls dressed up with more than half of their anatomy showing will only view them as one night stands; whereas a young woman who is dressed more appropriately has a much greater chance of discovering a long term partner.

As someone who cares about the welfare of the kids that I work with, it concerns me to know that some of these young adults could be potentially ruining their lives in the name of fashion, love and status.

Here’s hoping that all the teenage girls of the world heed the warning of this article and dress to impress the right person instead of the wrong one.

If you want to see the ugly side of what happens when a teenage girl experiences every female’s worst nightmare,then check this out. http://www.amazon.com/Escaping-Fates-Abyss-Ross%60-McDonald-ebook/dp/B00JAJYZW6/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1396411966&sr=1-1&keywords=Escaping+Fate%27s+Abyss.

It might just be the wake up call that some people need.

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Help! My Teen Maxed Out My Credit Card!

black-teenager-holding-credit-card

 

By Fern Weis

A college student puts all her expenses on her dad’s credit card — all her expenses, in addition to the tuition he paid with it. The card is maxed out, charges are being declined, and his credit score is plummeting. The solution? Now he gets reports from a credit-monitoring service so he can keep track of expenses and limits.

Don’t get me wrong. You do have to protect yourself. There’s nothing wrong with it, as long as it’s not the only solution. I’m looking at the places where things could have gone wrong, and will continue to go wrong if a more proactive parenting approach is not taken. Here we go. (Look out for recurring themes.)

1) Budgeting and finance. Many young people have what they need and what they want, without understanding the hard work that went into providing it for them. They need to know how money is earned, saved, invested and spent in reasonable ways. It’s time to teach them about creating a budget.

Ask yourself: What’s your money story? What message have you given your kids over the years, through words and deeds, about money matters? Ask them, too. You may be surprised to learn what they think.

2) Communicating calmly and effectively. Can you imagine the frustration, maybe the explosion that came when he got the news? It’s completely understandable… and not the way to produce long-lasting positive results. This requires some cooling-down time and a quiet fact-finding discussion before you can work on solutions.

Ask yourself: Besides the money and credit score, what else is really bothering you?

3) Putting an end to enabling and entitlement. This is tough. It can be difficult to say ‘no’ to them. Maybe they aren’t used to hearing it from you because you’ve been able to provide it all for them. It bears repeating: Just because you can afford to give them what they want doesn’t mean you should. Kids who learn to expect everything to be provided, without restriction, are not being prepared for real life.

Ask yourself: Why is it difficult to say ‘no’, whether it’s about money or other decisions involving your kids? What fears are showing up?

4) Setting clear expectations and limits. Once you’re calm and have had time to think clearly, you’re ready to discuss what you are and are not willing to do for them. If you’re paying for it, you have the right and responsibility to make decisions about how your money is spent. (See #3) How much funding will you give? Will they have to supplement with a job? Will you provide for certain expenses and not for others? (See #1)

Ask yourself: What expectations did my parents have for me? How have they served me? How will I feel when I create money expectations and limits and follow through with my own children?

5) Shifting responsibility to your teen or young adult. This is the result you’re going for: letting go enough to let your children be responsible for themselves. This is where they learn self-control, to make choices, to think before making those choices, and to live with the outcomes… in other words, preparation for life!

Ask yourself: Where do you need to let go, and your child to take hold? How will this contribute to your well-being? To his or her growth? (They will most likely struggle and make mistakes. It’s inevitable and necessary. See #3.)

Your teens are teachable. A little preparation on your part will get your message through loud and clear, and eliminate an emotional reaction.

Fern Weis is a Certified Coach and Middle School teacher. She helps parents break down the walls their teens put up, so they can have a great relationship and better prepare their kids for success in college and beyond. Learn how Fern can help you with your parenting concerns through coaching, classes and workshops at http://www.yourfamilymatterscoach.com, or 201-747-9642. You can also sign up for a free quiz, weekly parenting advice and a complimentary Parenting Breakthrough Session on the home page.

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Projects, Papers, and Finals, Oh My: 5 Tips That Will Help!

finals

 

By Colleen O’Grady

Summer is around the corner but first you have to get through projects, papers, finals-oh my. This is not only challenging for your daughter but it is challenging for you because your daughter is stressed.

Stress is contagious and if you are not intentional you will be pulled “down down down into the ring of fire.”

5 Tips that Will Help

1. Don’t take it personal

The end of the year is stressful for your daughter. You need to keep remembering this throughout the next few weeks.

You know when her deadlines and when her hardest finals are. Because of this you can anticipate when your daughter is going to be super stressed out. It’s easy to forget this.

You ask your daughter to complete an application for this summer and she goes off on you.

You are at a fork in the road.

a. If you remember this is ‘stressed out girl’, you won’t take it personally.

You can simply text her to fill out the application and avoid the drama.

b. If you take it personally you pile stress on top of her stress.

You start obsessing about how rude she is and all the times that she has disrespected you. You decide this is it. You are not putting up with that kind of attitude ever again. You think if I don’t deal with this now, no one ever will marry her.

With all this mental ammunition you lay into her like a machine gun with lots of empty threats. Then here is the crazy part. You expect her to say “thanks mom. I needed that.” It’s not going to happen. ‘Stressed out girl’ will go ballistic and good chances so will you.

2. Decide how you want to show up

When you anticipate stressful times, it helps you not react. You have a choice.

Who do I want to be in this situation? How do I want to show up?

I want to be calm, clear, playful, and strong.

Even if your daughter is a 10 on the stress scale you don’t have to react. You can control how she affects you by deciding who you are going to be.

This would be a good time to set an intention.

I intend to stay calm, clear, playful and strong through the end of school. (No matter how my daughter behaves.)

This way she can take her cues from you. You will help her relax if you stay relaxed.

3. Give her space and grace

If your daughter is stressed she needs space. This is not the time for you to ask her a million questions. Each question you ask or suggestion you give amps up her stress level.

Sometimes Facebook and You Tube are helpful. (She just needs a time limit) It is physically impossible for your daughter to be productive if she is stressed.

She needs to find ways to calm down so she can focus and be productive.

“She is not going to pass her finals if she doesn’t study. I’ve got to talk to her.”

I agree but timing is everything. If your daughter is stressed, the first step is to calm down. If you try to talk with her when she is stressed she will not hear you. The only thing that will come from this is drama. Wait and you will get better results.

Text her, If you really need to talk with her. It keeps both of you focused on the request.

4. Give advice when she is relaxed

Take her to buy donuts or get a Starbucks. Play with the cat or dog. Do something relaxing with your daughter. This is the best possible time to talk.

Ask her, “how it’s going?” See if she will tell you how she is feeling about school. The important thing is to engage her in the conversation so she doesn’t feel you are just lecturing her. After she has told you her plans then it’s your turn.

Compliment her on what she is doing well and then make your suggestions.

5. Take care of you

Not only is this a stressful time for your daughter, it’s a stressful time for you. It’s easy to be so tuned in to your daughter that the rest of your life gets neglected. What do you need right now? What part of your life needs a little attention?

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Colleen O’Grady encourages and empowers women to live their highest and best life. From her coaching programs to her one of a kind therapy sessions, she has helped hundreds of women and teenage girls uncover their true purpose in life, create more happiness, and move to a place of inner peace. Colleen knows that everyone can create this kind of life.

Colleen O’Grady is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Marriage and Family Therapist. Her private practice in Houston, Texas has been active for over 20 years. As an approved supervisor on a state and national level, Colleen is sought after to train master-level therapists, psychology and psychiatry residents throughout Houston. Colleen has created innovative coaching programs to give people practical tools for moving forward while also standing on a strong foundation of therapeutic practice.

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